so...november huh

well then..about time for another post eh? haha hello space marines...its fuckin november can you believe it? man..october was one hell of a fucking month for me. so much shit went on...but i made it.

when i say so much has happened, i really mean it. im really sorry for not posting for awhile to you loyalists of mine. this is another epicly long post. its laden with pictures of the things i experienced in october, and much entertaining, thought provoking, stories for yew. enjoy.

so where do i start? my minds all messed up abt it really. then again my mind's always messed up ;D

well most importantly,
my mum's bf came to stay with us briefly, hes 23 years old, while my mum is 43. im not joking, neither am i making a joke out of it either. theyre in love with each other, and its a long distance relationship, something i dont have the courage to do. but more on them later.

then there was bungee jumping. well reverse bungee jumping, the one at clarke quay for you locals reading ma blog. it really isnt overrated. i was screaming and begging for heavenly mercy



as i was tossed around with my sis and ryan(mum's bf). folks, you only live once. in this lifetime anyway. so do as many things as you can while you still can. im trying bit by bit to do so. you'll literally feel different about yourself after being propelled into the night sky.

then theres halloween. now my family can swear to you that its a torturous ordeal to live with me whenever its halloween time at zouk. cos that means im constantly stressing over costumes and materials and money and time and and and and....you get the point.

dont get me wrong...halloween is fun as hell...heh heh get it..hell? HELLoween?? ;D i love dressing up, it gives me a chance to fuck around with cardboards and paints and cutting up shit. oh yeah and i need to say this..the glue gun is so fucking unbelievably useful. seriously marines if youre gonna do artsy shit get a glue gun. shit goes into all the cracks and is strong as me.

ok so back to halloween. see we have this department competition every year for halloween..where the best dressed dept wins. naturally we won last year. and the year before that, yours truly won best individually dressed. its a monetary award. but the driving factor to win i would say is the pride in knowing we won, and not anyone else. but we'll only know the results god knows when.

so i dressed up as pyramid head this year. if you dont know who he is, get the fuck outta here. its sad really, cos only like 20 people out of the thousands who came last night knew what i was supposed to be. and the ones that knew were dudes in stormtrooper outfits, or jedi, or some anime characters. in other words...they were nerds. and sadly, i knew what sort of stormtroopers they were, and what anime show they were from, making me....a nerd as well.

pyramid head took me a week to create. correction, pyramid head took my entire family a week to create. even my mum's bf helped, and the dude was visiting from australia for just a little over a week lol. now some of these pics look like fun. but i assure you space marines, i was fuck stressed out of my mine. i would not have made it if it were'nt for every one of you living with me.


yes those are my sisters being slaves. the sandwhich is what my sister lisa eats. go figure what its made of. the cereal is my new obsession. no more tuna and eggs. i think i was overloading my body with too much protein and i didnt feel too good. instead im eating alot of cereals, particularly All Bran....Eat All Bran, For a more Regular you!


the making of pyramid head process. i guess you could say it required much...headroom? hahahah god im funny. i nearly lost my head in the process. ryan did get ahead of me now and then. OH GOD STOP.

ryan...another awesome guy...the other one being me, duh.



i spent about $250 making my costume. yeah i know wtf right? in the videos on youtube the material they use is cardboard. but i felt it wasnt gonna last me through the night at zouk, so i used a hardened type of foam...it was heavier, yes my neck was fucking stiff the next day, but damn the whole thing lived through it with only a few dents here and there.



my awesome colleagues dressed up as silent hill nurses, my manager (sofian) dressed up as hitler, which was fucking cool. wan, my twin counterpart at zouk, dressed as i dont know what but his body is awesome.


alright alright so he DOES have bigger guns than me i admit...but damn you could wash clothes on my stomach if you know what i mean ;D



sorry but i think, no wait, i KNOW im the coolest one of the lot. so yeah...i fuckin pulled off pyramid head. and i already know what im doing next year...but guess you'll have to stick around to find out ;D


pyramid head's master.


so back to my mum and ryan. theyre a couple, theyve known each other for 2 years now i think? is it odd about the whole age thing? sure its not common, then again, everything in my household is odd. one of my cats acts like a rat. my dog eats catfood while the cats eat dogfood. theres always cursing, laughter, tears, cats coughing up furballs going on throughout my home on a daily basis. and lets face it. asian men are useless. and they have small dicks.




this was a dinner gathering to celebrate her birthday and ryan's as well, which was a couple of days after hers. cool eh? we ate at breeks cafe, the food my fellow readers, was absolutely awesome ...potatoes minced with meat, pasta with fucking fresh seafood...fuck my jaw hurts now lol.

so heres a crazy story before i end this epic post.

im out grocery shopping with my family a couple of nights ago. so im walkin around lookin at stuff....when i get bumped from behind by a cute little girl( OR SO I THOUGHT) of maybe 9 or 10 yrs of age.

shes got those pony tails and the bifocaled glasses...the complete nerd look. now the bump was nothing really. i thought she was cute pushing the trolley around. it so happened that whichever aisle i was in, there she was, right behind me. until at one point, im standing along the frozen foods section, with my whole family gang standing around me, when shes appears right behind me again. she starts saying "excuse excuse"...and i say to my gang, omg this girl is following me around...to which my family laughs.

then the shit hits the fan.

the girl suddenly bursts into tears and runs to her mother( who also looks like the freak of a daughter). now initially i thought nothing of it. maybe the brat was emo for not getting my number. when suddenly the mother starts shouting at me : OI COME BACK HERE HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MY DAUGHTER IM CALLING THE POLICE!

oh hohohoho...i thought to myself, things are gonna get rreeealllll interesting now. i dropped the basket of groceries i was carrying, and stormed up to the crazy bitch, amazed at this woman's mental stability.

the following is the true account of what went down:

ezra, cleo bachelor, : what did you say? lady i didnt touch your kid or say anything to your daughter!

crazy bitch: YOU SHUT UP! IM CALLING THE POLICE! DONT GO ANYWHERE, DONT TRY TO RUN! (emo daughter is clinging onto her for dear life)

then my mum comes up to the lady, ready to strangle her.

mum: whats going on? what happened to your daughter?

crazy bitch: YOU SHUT UP! IM TRYING TO FIND OUT! (daughter starts mumbling to her about how i made fun of her to my sisters) IM CALLING THE POLICE! (takes out phone and starts dialing)

ezra, space marine: Lady are you alright? youre really calling the police? theyre not going to come down for this! theyve got better things to do! mum calm down, the woman is psycho lol.

crazy bitch: (on the phone) yeah...this man here...disturbed my daughter (mumbles)...yeah hes right here, hold on( passes the phone to me)

all this while theres people standing around watching the drama. even the store manager comes to check out the story, whos a friend of my mum.

police dude starts asking me what happened, and i can tell hes trying not to laugh. then he asks me if police presence is required, to which i reply : "DUDE DO YOU REALLY WANNA COME DOWN FOR THIS?" and he replies: uhhh no not really sir...just past the phone back to her ill just talk to her.

mum: son lets go i cant believe people like this still exist.

so i pass the phone back to crazy hoot...and my entourage and i cooly take our groceries and proceed to the checkout counter. i had half the mind to go back to the kid and tell her: Hey..if you get bullied in school next time, DONT FORGET TO FUCKING CALL THE POLICE!
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so there ya have it, my october summarised. work so far is alright, im still pressured, but i gotta be thankful i even have a job. we just won nightclub of the year , so fuck you butter factory. OOOO LETS GO TO BUTTER FAC! OOOOO....fuckin eww.

ive been falling behind on my exercise regime, due to work mostly. gonna get serious once again tmrw onwards. i feel like bleaching hair awesome silver. oh yeah one more thing! lol...my cleo bachelor thingy! so i did the photoshoot...i cant say much now, but my god it was fun, even the interview part was fun...more on that when the time comes. but yeah...im pretty much hairless now...including my legs. used some hair removal cream thingy. GEEJUS ITS FUCKING ITCHY!

ok thats all for now space marines. hope you had fun reading. it was rather tiring typing all this shit out. until next time. Eat your All Bran cereal! For a more Regular You!

who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!

hello space marines, did ya'll miss me?! wait what a rhetorical question..of course everyone did haha! for the unupdated, ive been gone for 8 days, recalled by the government due to my eliteness lol. a sort of unofficial leave if you will. im back in one piece though im sick as hell currently. yes yes im taking my medicine. so amazingly horny( i was literally getting erections every 15mins for 8 fucking days straight), and my body clock is royally messed up.

i missed my fix of tuna and eggs so badly that i actually dreamt of it one night while in camp. this is a very long post i must warn ye, but its full of action, suspense and most importantly, stuff about me :D

so get comfy, pour yourself a cup of tea, kiss that photo you have of me in your comp cos lets not lie, i know youve got a few hahahah! enjoy!

5/10/09

so...camp huh..haha well hello hello marines! im in camp now, first day. well actually "Camp" is the term thats used locally, but in all actuality im residing in a big fucking fire/police station.

its pretty awesome really, cos as im laying in bed typing out these words, the fire call rings throughout the station, and you can watch the station personnel scrambling to put on their fire fighter suit and run into the fire engines.

so im fortunate enough to have some freshies with me in this intake, and ive sort of taken to being their guardian, considering the rest of the men are above 30 years old(theres about 40 of us in total), and the rest are sorta rowdy. theres 4 medics in total in my unit, with your space marine being the most senior one ;D the rest of the guys are fire fighters and rescuers. incase youre wondering wtf it is im doing, my unit of 40 dudes are on 24hr standby for any mass disasters.

for 8 days, all of us had to live in one big dormitory. so i managed to secure a bed and locker in a pristine location right below a big ass fan.


why do i look like im wearing eye liner -.-
all the beds are double decker, but naturally i took the top, cos i like being on top, get it? haha get it?! being on top? ;D

okay thats enough ranting for today, im falling asleep in this lecture room right now. its nearly 12pm. first day in camp away from the world. more to come!

6/10/09

2nd day. man today's food was utterly bad. i didnt have dinner the night before, cos i didnt wanna eat and then sleep. was really tired you see. so i woke up really really hungry. the breakfast served was oil with noodles. really. not noodles with oil, but oil with noodles. i took one bite, and decided i didnt wanna die so young and handsome, dumped it all and bought sandwhiches at the camp cafeteria.

i didnt sleep well either. i guess its cos of the new environment. i woke up at 4am, tried to force myself back to bed but couldnt fall asleep. instead my mind decided to conjure up scary shit and i started freaking out lol. doesnt help when my bed faces a big fucking tree out in the middle of a field thats pitch black at night.

the company is great though, the guys can be rather crude and rowdy at times but theyre cool with me. im also the only one who speaks english fluently. and im also the only one who reads a space marine novel while the rest are either:


gambling, watching porn, or having a movie screening session lol.

7/10/09

so...3rd day huh..goddammit frank im feeling so sian-ish today. times been passing by oh so slowly. ive even grown a full beard, like tom hanks in castaway lol. WELL FUCK YOU BUDDY ONLY REAL MEN CAN GROW BEARDS.

the only highlight of today was our refresher course in chemical warfare. we had to wear these biochemical protection suits, and theres a procedure and timing to follow when donning the stuff. afterwhich we're put in a gas chamber and......gassed * no shit *

the aftermath is always the same. half the unit didnt wear their gear properly, resulting in them running out of the two way swing doors screaming and crying begging to be shot from the skin irritation and crappy taste burning into their throat. and ill just be standing there being cool, confident due to my past experience as a US marine and future life as a space marine. heres some pics of all my glory:



k hours later, im sitting in a classroom fucking freezing my ass off. its a medical lecture right now, and its weird to see a bunch of dudes doing what i used to do, lecture and demonstrate first aid stuff. FUCK ME ITS COLD LIKE HITLER TYPE OF COLD. IM LIKE SHAKING VIOLENTLY. immm ssssorry imm ssoorrryy i never meant to break your heart im a heartbreaker im a heartbreaker.

so theres something really funny i need to share. when i first entered the unit, i noticed that some of the dudes had names that didnt quite fit. i saw malay dudes with names like Ramasamy, Malakeet Singh, Harry Lee....but i thought maybe, just maybe it was really their names. then things got weirder. one dude had Monster.

and another had Msingat...how the fuck do you pronouce that. after awhile i gave in and brought up the topic...they heartily laughed at me, and one dude pulls out a bunch of fictional nametags for use. btw the dude using Msingat said that its not a name but random words, so that no one could pronouce it and call him for anything. they decided i was fit to wear a malay nametag...such irony.

and yes i know, i look fucking great in that photo lol.

9/10/09

so its 6am now, we're in our troop carrier waiting to be taken to remote training forest.

*dying groan* our driver is playing one by u2...and it sure fits the mood of everyone in the vehicle. uughhh sunlight streaming on my face...let me make it clear : i am not a morning person. think about it, no matter how much you sleep at night, you always just wanna sleep somemore or wake up feeling and looking like crap in the morning. i guess even when the time comes for me to leave zouk, i'd still hunt for something with odd hours. its just not worth it, fighting and putting up with the morning public transport crowd. its utterly depressing.

so at this training village, far away from civilization, is an old couple whos been here for...at least 10 years. they operate a food stall that doesnt have a menu. you just tell them what you want, and hopefully it comes out how you planned it. provided they have it. clearly the wife doesnt speak a word of english and is a little forgetful, but the husband is a lively dude in his late 50s who always seems to be running about even when theres no people ordering.

man i just had a nightmare, fell asleep right after eating, so i was asking for it anyway. but thats not the worst part...in the dream i was trying to save someone from drowning, but i could hear my guys in the real world laughing and talking around me as i slept. then in that dream, as i was struggling to resuscitate the person, i screamed EVERYONE SHUT UP AND HELP ME!!. everyone in the real world turned to look at me with stunned expressions thinking wtf is wrong with me. i woke up, feeling so, fucking, embarassed. ugh. i just said "sorry...haha..." and ran out the room.

i tend to do this often, like scream or cry in my sleep. sometimes id even get a little violent and lash out by kicking and punching. seriously no joke, and whoevers next to me(if there is anyone *wink wink*) would have to shield themselves with a pillow lol.

10/10/09

saturday. a normal saturday morning and afternoon would be spent in bed happily sleeping time away. i wouldve drank a bit at work on friday night, and got home by 530am...eaten something and gone to bed without showering. and woken up around 3pm to workout before goin to work.

but alas me mateys, here i am, in a dormitory on a bed, in a fire station, typing out these very words into my phone. its...12pm currently...and ive just had lunch. food wasnt too bad today, was fish fillet and eggs and some vegetables that had been cooked till they became white :)

im not too sure about today's itinerary. being the weekend theres usually little training and time is spent chillaxing.

so for every 30 men theres a captain incharge. he too is doin his reservist duty, for the same duration and same rules. the horrible part is that he has to ensure that everyone else plays by the rules.

so imagine, you've got a whole bunch of men to be incharge of their welfare and discipline. a mixture of ahbengs( chinese wannabe gangsters), mats ( malay wannabe i dunno what), the young, and the weak. and theyre all living in the same big room. now i have to confess, theres this asshole in the group who i so badly wanna mutilate. he just doesnt give a flying fuck about anyone and think hes mister badass. i almost got into confrontations with him a few times already, but my pals say its not worth it, otherwise we get thrown into army prison. which would suck lol.

i noticed that these sorts of humans share the same characteristics such as physical features that remind me of a doctor beating them with a shovel upon being born into the world, and poor general hygiene. simply observing them makes my blood boil. wish i was a space marine right now...ID SHOW THEM THE EMPEROR'S WRATH!

okay folks...the day's almost over...sunday tmrw, one day of chillaxation, and im back out into the real world on monday..i hope youve had alot of fun reading everything so far...but then again if youve managed this far then it must mean you did infact love my work, either that or youre some psycho...and if thats the case i hope you look like angelina jolie :D
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gnatzies.

Well....hello there *ezra slut wink/smile*

yes...tis i. mr cleo bachelor. lol. ok ok all that shit aint confirmed yet, but fuck...come on look at me and my awesomeness lolllll...im just waiting for ze call, but i'd be cool if i didnt get in...no really...i'd be cool *psychotic look + smile*

so...saturday morning huh...its gonna be 7am in awhile...just had my bread and eggs and tuna. i swear if you cut me open thats all thats gonna come out of me...its like im actually made up of the stuff now. its funny though, a great pal of mine ( yes ryan its you im talking about) decided to try my recipe...and the first thing he thought to himself after eating it was *HOW DOES HE EAT THIS CRAP??* but its awesome stuff just like me...so try it if ya'll are interested in a high protein, healthy meal that wont get you fat no matter how much of it you eat. and its filling as hell.

4 eggs ( get the good eggs not the crappy really large trays)
1 can of tuna ( the one i get is blended with olive oil )
mix all that up and dump it into a frying pan that should be lined with garlic olive oil...cook for 5 mins and voila'! youre done. heaven on a plate, all because of me :D

k moving along. so work ...has been ...tough. like really tough. to the point where i find it hard to breathe sometimes. you'd think working in a club and wearing a fancy suit was easy peasy. fuck no. theres much pressure to perform and maintain a level of consistency. note im not bitching, its totally logical what they ask for...but man ...its..tiring me out.

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Movie Review timez



Inglorious Basterds.

This movie blew me away. basically you can go in expecting it to be a ww2 style pulp fiction. and thats exactly what it was to me. was funny as hell, gory, with full of random shit. and i need to say this...i fucking love ww2 history..although you wont find any facts in this movie *they kill hitler by shooting him into pieces* hahahah spoiler there BITCHES!

but yeah...i think nazi style uniforms are sexy, smart, and just totally give off this imposing scary feeling...like a "dont fuck with me" suit. yeah...hey i like that..."dont fuck with me suit"..man i think of the coolest things! sigh i wish i could dress up nazi style for halloween.

so...f1 weekend huh...man it was krazy with a capital k last weekend. it felt like the whole of europe came to zouk.

im not really into this whole car racing thingy though. i mean sure sure those racing cars and the sounds they make are pure sex, but if i had the resources to own such a car id rather get an audi or bmw suv or even a hummer. you know...just to remind me of my old iraqi days..

so im gonna be gone for 8 days next week, for the purpose of reservist.
for my fellow americans, reservist is when you get recalled by your old army unit to go back for remedial training and updates. so yours truly is gonna be attached to his ol fire station.

all im gonna be doing is eating/sleeping/working out and doing random duties and shit. it aint so bad really. its like being on leave away from work. and its gonna give me some much needed alone time. and most importantly im gonna read shitloads of space marine books lol.

the sucky part is that i cant leave the station for 8 days, aaannnddd the food is crap. so im probably gonna sneak out for the subway nearby or get me some meatballs at ikea. ..yep...ive got it all planned out heh heh.

i purged my room a couple of days back. wasnt in a fantastic mood suddenly,and decided i needed to clear my clutter. i threw soo much shit out. in a way its a good thing too, cos when we have to abandon ship and move out, all i need to take is about 5 boxes and my comp and im outta here. for my concerned readers, we still dont know when we have to leave...so yeah. throughout the cleaning process, i came across photos of my past. yes these are all real, and highly rare indeed ladies and gents...



this is an old pic of my bestest friend ever...James Martin. we were 14 in this photo. Note how handsome i am already. Btw im feeding him my birthday cake in that photo. its a tradition in my family that a cake is compulsory, and your first slice must be shared with everyone present...from the oldest to youngest. and you also get to ram the cake into someones face for the hell of it heh heh. the setting was my old home...man it was so fucking big...i miss it so much.


my sisters and i. we were such good looking kids. i have my mum to thank for that.



i was 4 or 5 in this pic..and thats my beautiful mum.

and heres some random pics from my smashing new phone.



so im probably not gonna post something for the next 2 weeks. try not to miss me too much. or if you do, you could keep coming back here and stare at my photos :D

okay all...im falling asleep as i type these very words..im rather drained from last night..i hope to sleep well and deep, and wake up, eat something, workout and go to work after. fuck me i love my bed. its seriously the bomb like boomz.

oh...its on.

so...i just got a call from ..the fine people at cleo magazine..

guess who's gonna be a cleo bachelor *slutty wink*

yep thats right...well...no surprise really HAHAHAHA! more to come so stayyy tuned!

blue blistering barnacles..

Well hello there space marines! yes ive been missing for awhile i know.. been so caught up with lifes ...life. err okay. so yeah its been work, working out, exam..ugh. so yeah i took my financial accounts exam finally,...it didnt go very well, but theres a glimmer of hope that i may pass...make it a faint glimmer lol.

So last night steve aoki played to a full house zouk. fucking. madness. let me just say i turned away half of america cos of fake ids. seriously kids...DO I LOOK DUMB? but jesus...some of them are...err...looking fully equipped if you know what i mean lol.

man i dont get it with all this electro mash up shit. its...noisy. ok ok there are some really good moments during the sets, cos they play the good stuff from daft punk or chemical brothers. but man its so...commercialised.. and this steve aoki guy, just looking at him makes me wanna punch him lol. if i were a dj, i'd wear a shirt and tie all the time. i'd like a suave and professional image.

so i have found my love once again.....my columbia jacket. she went missing for awhile, but i found it after purging my room of rubbish...had it washed, and now ive told myself to wear it out everyday even when its blistering hot. i just fucking love the neck part it can come up to my nose and i feel oh shhooo secure.

17/9/09

so its 6am now. thursday morning. i guess i can i had a pretty good wednesday night. was busy at the club, yours truly was back to being at phuture. it only felt great cos my best buddy Khir was there the whole time.

so hmmm let see, what have i been up to?

unfinished sympathy. ive been listening to this alot lately. its by massive attack. people who appreciate it all say the same thing : that its not meant for its time, like its the sort of thing made from the future and sent back for everyone to hear. if you decide to have a listen or actually research on the lyrics, you'll find that the song is about the fear getting hurt by someone you are falling for or scared of falling for. anyway listen to this one by madonna...completely heartbreakinggz


ever ask yourself, what your flaws are? like what it is about you that actually makes you not love yourself? i mean come on, we're all grown up, and smart (notice how i didnt put matured in, cos plenty of people arent) enough to know we've pretty much fucked up certain things and regret it.

for me, firstly its the trust issues. see, in fact i do trust easily, but its after continuous "being fucked over" that makes you not wanna believe in anything. im still working on it, but boy oh boy do i have much fixing there lol. and ironically enough, im not easy to trust either, considering my job. plus when you've been around the block and done things...you know when you're being played.

second, jealousy. i know i got this from my dad. he was a terribly jealous man. quite honestly, and jokes aside, i shouldnt be like that. im good looking, got a good body, well endowed, smart , well spoken. but yet, i feel this certain sense of inadequacy. like, im not really comparable. i guess certain short comings like being financially unstable at times, my constant state of uncertainty of my future..makes it tough to feel "up there".

you know, i used to pray. like, alot. every single night before i went to bed. i'd look out a window, look towards the full moon and talk to god. spill the beans on whatever there was to be spilled. i guess the moon was a suitable object for me to look up to(haha get it? look up to? ok nvm). i havent prayed in ages. i just dont see the point. im not spiritually dead, i do believe in god. i do believe theres a heaven and hell. but i also believe god doesnt play his hand in things on earth anymore. like he's left us to do our own thing. think about it, with all the crap happening everywhere, it'd suck to imagine he's saving people here and there and not everyone who ought to be saved. whether we fuck it up or not is non of his business and just for his viewing. wouldnt say viewing pleasure cos i wouldnt imagine it to being pleasurable.
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well that was all mildly emo, but since space marines no know emo-ness...lets continue.

so this is my new tv based, but since i dont watch tv..my computer based tv show:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Destination_Truth

this guy...has my dream job. hes a seeker of the paranormal and cryptids of the world. cryptids are all the mystery monsters and creatures...like yeti and loch ness for example.

heres one of his episodes, which is so far my favourite. because im awesome:



i mean come on!!! all that gear, traveling, exploration..a haunted suicide forest in japan!! josh if you ever come across my blog and see this, you could pay me...no wait...FEED ME peanuts and i'd happily work for you. you know what, im gonna fuckin email this dude right now and tell him that lol.

another obessesion of mine right now is my new phone. yes thats right folks...ive finally gotten a new phone, that doesnt suck. a word of advice from a veteran phone user. dont fucking get sony ericsson. when a phone has too many gadgets and pro things, its bound to fuck up. so this is my new beaut :




ok so i upgraded my phone plan, and had a choice of touch screen phones and some pretty fancy shit. i just told the guy...gimme something that aint touchscreen and could survive a few falls lol.
and so this is vhat is got. touchscreen phones are more of a feminine thing. and once you drop that shit youre fucked. i have to confess..the messaging system on this thing is fucking addictive. no more having to scroll back to see wtf you said earlier on! and the speaker is clear as day...i put radioslave as my ringtone hahaha! i win at life! i wouldve considered a blackberry...but i dont use all that internet stuff. i only like blackberries cos of the lil scrolling ball thingy.

so far, im boycotting nokia and sony. lg and samsung are reliable. me two cents yo.



and heres a picture of my new bedsheets. and it really feels as good as it looks. especially the dude who sleeps in it ;D;:D:D:D:D:DDD only problem is, i wake up with some blue dye...all over my body...guess i was feeling...blue? ok even i know that was bad.

okay all. i guess thats it for now. this week is gonna be another hellish one. with the f1 race and all...and theres john digweed fuck yeah. some real fucking techno. then in october ive got reservist for a week. back to my marine unit....sighz.

so...rainy weather huh

ahh....sundays. sundays are nice days. nice days are sundays. its when most of the world doesnt work, including yours truly. well most of the time anyway haha. its a time of family spending, home cleaning, chores doing, gorcery shopping.

but not for me.

ive just gotten up, and im contemplating jumping back into bed. you see, its rainy season now in singapore. which also happens to be my most favourite season. its actually cold here, reminds me of back in the marines when i was in iraq, its was freaking COLD at night.

*pauses to compile slow emo-ey songs on windows player*

k done. so where should i begin...ah..k funny stories.

Ever been to new york,new york at citilink? its a restaurant serving...western (duh) food, its expensive, but big fucking portions. so they have this challenge.

eat a $32 mega burger, within an hour, with no help from anyone, and you eat it for free.
see thats the phrase they use. and the picture on the advertisement is innocent looking enough. so there were like 5 of us there, myself and a couple of the boys from the dept. the challenge was accepted by kenneth, one of the brave souls. see, you'd prolly be thinking to yourself : "but it doesnt seem that bad". And youre right, it really doesnt, infact i was thinking of having a go at it myself.

so we ordered food for everyone, and kenneth orders the challenge. we double check the rules, and the waiter says you gotta finish everything on the plate, which includes some fries. so we're like ok cool.

and then the fucker arrives 10 mins later.

the photos dont really do it justice. theres really over a million fries in it. we all burst out laughing when we saw the plate land on the table, instantly knowing kenneth was royally fucked.

but he bravely took it on, knowing he'd have to fork out 30 bucks otherwise hahaha. he finished the burger within half an hour, claiming it was good. then came the fries. at first he valiantly attacked them, shoving mouthfuls in. it was truly hilarious, after awhile, he began to slow down, hands trembling, knowing the light was growing dimmer around him. incase youre wondering, the waiters didnt stand right there staring at us, but they constantly came to check in on us every 2 mins. so whenever they disappeared we'd rush to help him.

problem was that we ourselves had already eaten, and there was really a whole sack of potatoes on the plate. and imagine, once our dishes had been cleared, save for the mega plate, we were attempting to help him with the fries...quickly chomping away, but whenever the waiters came to spot check on the progress, we had to stop chewing otherwise it was blatantly obvious lol.

in the end, 5 mins before the timer was up, we surrendered. with all of us chipping in for the bill lol.

fucking epic memory right there.


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Eyebrow threading.

yup. yours truly has finally done it. and taken yet another step towards being a hot raging homosexual. it hurt like hell, but holy crap...THE RESULTS ARE VISIBLE!! HAHA GET IT? EYES? VISIBLE?? @HAHAHA@ GET IT? HAHA FUCK OFF.

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Movies.



No no and no. i was disappointed. it couldve been truly epic...but there was just too much goddamn computer effects in it. the story was alright, acting was a lil cheesy...which you know im totally cool with lol. the whole show felt like a computer game...which usually i wouldnt mind, but mehh..on the brightside,

Channing Tatum looks like me heh heh.

What i wanted : to be scared completely till i'd have recurring nightmares for weeks.

What i expected : That the chick was some freak experiment and that her head wasnt attached to her body.

What i got : Turns out to be a pyscho 32 year old husband snatcher. but in reality, shes really 14. but goddamn i would most definitely ...ok nevermind lol.




jesus on a popsicle...this movie left me fucking speechless. like omg. if god and lucifer made a movie together...this would be it. i really cant give this movie enough credit, it was really REALLY good. if you didnt catch it, well...too fucking bad, you just missed out on another piece of life. i fucking got emo and teary-eye at the end lol. this is one movie i dare say was better than transformers.

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Ok emo time. A while back, a man named willy nolan came into my life. he was/still is an awesome dude, but hes stuck back in the states now. heres an email he sent me a couple of days back.

Ezra!!!!!!!
Hey man, it's your boy Willy. I know you probably get a lot of emails from a lot of random people and I know you are busy but I hope you have time to read this...It has been a really long time since I left Singapore, but I seriously think about it every day, I miss it there so much it is hard to describe. I am doing everything I can to come back as soon as possible, but that involves finishing school and some other stuff so it may not be for another year...I hope that we can remain friends so that when I come back we can get right down to partying. Anyway, I know you hate emo people, or just getting emo, so I will be brief when I say that meeting you and your family and your friends was (apart from the house music at zouk) far and away the best part of my time in Singapore, and the trip itself was truly life-changing, I found a place to which I want to return many times...Ok, enough of that. I have been reading your blog periodically, it is still quite funny, there was a time when I couldn't log on, did you take it down or something? Also word on the street is that your single now...wow, I can't help but wonder if your unbroken streak of dumping the girl as opposed to being dumped is intact...if it is too sensitive I understand if you don't want to talk about it. Some funny stories about me, I have my own local tv show now, you see in the US, cities are required to have 2 channels of free programming where anybody can have a show, it is all about my sense of humor, and, american girls seem to finally be taking a liking to yours truly, next time we talk I will tell you about a bad sexual experience I had involving a chocolate condom and a bunch of fucking cats...yeah intriguing isn't it. Last thing, I have been facebook chatting with my other friend Ian, god damn I love that kid too, for someone I only met twice, he is legitimately (like yourself) a down-to-earth bad ass man. So please, let me know how things are for you, and of course please tell your awesome family that I hope they are doing well, and tell your sisters to not worry I will be back soon to satisfy there ang moh desires.
Peace,
Willy Nolan (DJ Startec but you already knew that)


Willy, everyone back here misses you, and there really isnt a week that goes by without you being mentioned lol....zouk aint the same without you. and my family actually misses your nonstop(and seriously folks this dude doesnt fucking stop talking) chatter. hope you do well, then i could move to oregon and we can live like true americans ;D

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yep skye can do this too, only it comes out...differently lol.

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wow ok i think thats enough words for today...i still have plenty more to talk about..but i guess it'll come another time. take care ya'll.

PS: its 530pm now. im fucking hungry. went to check on my food supply and get this : ive got cereal but no milk. ive got my eggs and tuna....but no bread....$@#%$@#%

So.......dot...dot...dot.....

hahaha well hello hello. its 230am now. and strangely im in an ok mood. i just had an epic shower. and before that, i was working out. now im the sort who cant bathe in cold water. ill just fucking die. i need ma hot water. my sadly my water heater is dying...well not really dying, but everytime i turn it on, and leave it to boil the water inside it, the main power supply in my home gets cut...and i gotta get on a chair to flip a switch so that all the power in my house comes back on lol. OH WELL JUST ANOTHER DAY IN MY LIFE.

and just to add on my showering part, i hadnt washed my hair in days, even after going to the gym. now now, before you go eewww and shit like that, theres reasoning behind it.

you cant wash too often. your head secretes oil for a reason. and thats to keep it all healthy. but i finally gave in cos it was gettin itchy lol. now i smell fucking nice. as usual.

remember how when you were young and used to play with yer toys? like my sisters had a fucking army of barbie dolls...and they "played" with em by setting up the doll houses and the tea party and their outfits to wear. the entire process took the whole fucking day. and by the time they were done, they had to wrap everything up...and the process would begin anew the next day. i swear im not making all that up.

as for me, i had my transformers. i'd sit in my corner and hold one in each hand and go *pew*pew*pew*. oh and my transformers would come and fuck up my sisters' doll house...cos it was the enemy base, and get my ears screamed off by my loving mother....you know, the standard stuff.

now that all those days are over(or are they ;D), i have a new toy.

my laser pointer.... is my new best fwend. now it aint no ordinary pointer. its fucking military standard...the type they use to stick to rifles to target better. no no my marine buddies didnt pass it to me, i was luckily able to purchase it locally. the damn thing isnt light, and my god can it go really far....like really REALLY far.

so ...now youre probably wondering...what DoEsss he do with it? well its simple. i use it in public at night to either confuse, scare, or make people go wtf when they see a green dot on a building going nuts everywhere. the hardest part is keeping a straight face. between my workouts earlier on i was pointing it out of my room onto the road....and these people walking past are like...looking up at the sky lol. god im still laughing right now. sigh i love you...laser pointer thing.

so by now youd know that i have a fucking brothel of cats in my home. and theres this one particular cat that drives me nuts. he sits his on top my dryer, which is stacked above the washing machine. so its slightly taller than me( im 1.8m). and know what he does all day?


meows. he meows. and meows. and meows. hes not hungry. hes not cranky. he just meows. when hes asleep and you walk past...the meowing starts. if you so much as look at him from the hall...he starts meowing. im gonna record his meowing one day and use it as my alarm tone...cos i know it'll fuckin wake me up.

so the memo at zouk just popped up for Halloween's theme and decor. obviously i cant say what it is, but what i can say is that every dept in zouk is given a budget depending on how many staff they have to come up with the bestest costumes to match the themes. best costumes wins the dept a load of cash. then theres also the best costume for one individual. for the past 2 years, my dept has won, with yours truly claiming best dressed.


ive been a sexy as hell geisha...



a truly manly tribal leader...


and *drum roll*...for my next appearance, im gonna be pyramid head from silent hill. if you dont know who pyramid is....get the hell outta my blog cos you arent cool enough to read it. so yeah, good thing theres tutorials and vids on how to go about making the costume. i am so gonna rock this shit. like as if i already dont rock shit....errr okay.





fuck i cant wait to pose and let people go WOAH THIS DUDE IS AWESOME...cos you know its the truth yo.

k thats all for nao. i hope everyones doing ok...remember...eat sleep and fuck as much as you can, 2012 is coming :D

oh and btw....dont deny you werent checkin out my lil goatee in the laser pic ;D heh heh,...but i gotta shave it off...otherwise i look like a terrorist...NOT THAT IM SAYING I HAVE INDIAN BLOOD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT LOL